would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
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