I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
