Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize