At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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