Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize
