I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
Randomize
