Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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