I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Randomize
