His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
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