Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Randomize
