I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Randomize
