Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
