I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
