Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
