Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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