There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
