can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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