Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Randomize