Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
