I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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