Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
Randomize
