Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
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