Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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