I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Randomize
