pedialite and red bull = repair kit
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
Randomize
