i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
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