i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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