Since when is my name a synonym for head?
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Randomize
