Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
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