Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize