that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
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