So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Randomize