Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
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