Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
