the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Randomize