I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
