i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Randomize
