operation have a gay friend backfired
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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