Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
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