Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
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