Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Randomize
