Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
I need a burrito and a hug.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Randomize
