Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
