spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
Randomize
