You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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