sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
Randomize
