I wish I could teleport
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
