Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
