go do what you do best...puke behind churches
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
