I am puke
I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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