Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
