I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
Randomize
