he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
Randomize
