Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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