I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
What a fucking waste of an outfit
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
I would fuck him just for his dog
Randomize
