wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Randomize
