Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
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