He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
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