his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
