you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Randomize
