I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
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