youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
