just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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