Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
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