why didn't you poke me back
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Randomize