the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
