im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
porn star boner night. come get it.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
