before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Randomize
