I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
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