Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
