We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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