weddingsv make me drug and hornr
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Randomize