Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
