It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
We have started to decorate penises.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
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