hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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