'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
