Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
